Heartache.

Relationships have been on my mind a lot recently. Not the happy, precious, relationships. The ones that end in anguish, like ashes scattered from an old flame. It is these relationships that truly test our strength. Sure, every relationship begins with butterflies, staying up late, smiling as you fall asleep, countless phone calls, and many kisses. But these aren't what truly define you. Failed relationships are a whole new experience. They can make you feel worthless. They can make you feel insecure. Vulnerable. Stupid. Not good enough. Broken. What failed relationships really come down to is failed love. And love, by its definition, is a feeling of warm personal attachment. And that's what is hard. Letting go of the attachment. Going from that person being the body your whole life orbits, to a person you can't even look at in the hallway. Failed love is hard. However, it would be unfair to say that it is unjust and unecessary. There was once a boy that my whole life centered. I swore I couldn't love without him. I was broken. Truly broken. Shattered actually. So broken that I couldn't even function normally. At the time I didn't understand what I did to deserve that horrible consequence. But that was my greatest gift. It is with my deepest scars that I truly found myself. It is with my first heartbreak that I realized how tough my skin is. It was my first failed relationship that I realized just how amazing love is. 

If you are going through heartache, I know how you feel. Do not give up hope. You will come out the other side better than you ever were before. Tougher. Wiser. Changed.